Observations and Ponderings

In the mornings I usually do my exercise after I drop Master 8 off at school. Walking is my normal form of physical fitness. I'm blessed to live by a fabulous mountain. This is the view from the top.

Anywho while I'm walking through the bush up and down the trek its a great time to think and ponder, pray and petition, laugh and wonder. I love the tree's and being in the bush and breathing in the clean air and absorb it into my soul. It's my soul food and my spirit has definitely lifted since we moved to our new house. On a particular trek I end up on the other side of the mountain and end up walking along some streets. I find it  interesting walking past people houses and the busy-ness of the main road. So different from being up the mountain. And I guess another weird observation I have made is walking past people's rubbish and recycling bins. I'm observant (nosey) by nature. I glance in on my way past and I see abit about this person's lifestyle. Something that made me think was the amount of alcohol thats been consumed by some people. Recycling bins full of beer bottles usually. Not all people just some. It made me sad. My relationship with alcohol has had its ups and downs but its all down to personal choice really isn't it? So why does seeing these beer bottles etc make me sad? I suppose its the thought that if  you have to consume so much does that mean that person is missing something in their life? Do they have kids? Are they by themselves? Could they be buying food instead of so much drink? Is it my business anyway? Mixture of all of that I suppose. 

As a family we were on the receiving end of alcohol abuse so I know first hand how it effects you, that's a part of my concern. Mum never had enough money because she wasn't the bread winner, dad was, but he would drink. Yet some how that wonderful woman kept us all fed and clothed and loved.

I have a better understanding around alcohol now then I did back then. Its not the drink that makes a drunk, its the drunk who consumes too much drink. Its like that old saying, 'Guns don't kill people, people kill people'.  I still think that people have to be responsible for their choices and how those effect other people. Lets face it its not just alcohol that people over consume, its food, its work, its internet use, its drugs etc etc. These all have a flip side that effect our community.

The other weekend I went to a mate's dad's exhibition on Human Rights at the Old Library Gallery (Te Gallery). There was some thought provoking photographs on display. Go have a look if you have time. 

Some thoughts I left with after viewing the photo's were, 'If we want to have rights then we also have to accept that we have responsibilities too'. We can't just expect to get things without giving too. We live in relationship with each other on varying degree's.
Another thought I left with was people have the right to freedom yet some of our community live bound in prison in different kind such as poverty and abuse.
So what does that all have to do with walking through the bush and observing someone's recycling? Well I'm not sure really but we don't live an isolated life. God made us for relationship with each other. Do I have a heart for my community? What does God want me to do with my new thoughts? Am I Light and Salt to those around me? Man I hope so! Its a journey to more self-awareness and doing those things that God wants me to do. Hmm things to think about....

B-B

Beautiful Baby!

I have a new niece, she is just delicious. My brothers 1st daughter (as if having 4 sister's wasn't enough for the poor guy!). 6 weeks old (4 weeks prem). She is so cute. I can see my brother when I look at her and also my mum. Gene's?! They are amazing! She has my brothers feet and beautiful blue eyes and I'll claim the dark hair since my brother and his partner had fair hair. Yes I will claim the hair!
I think the miracle of a little person growing inside you is amazing! God is awesome! In our female body we have the capacity to make a whole new organ called the placenta to house, nourish and grow a little human being. That is mind blowing! And when the time is right this little person comes through a very small space between our legs through moving bones, their skull especially made pliable for this purpose. WOAH! Doesn't that just blow your mind!
Master 8 knows I have a theory around how long he has existed and every now and then he asks me "So how old am I really?". And I answer him, "Well when I was born I was born with all my eggs and you came from one of  those eggs so your 34 like me". He finds my logic interesting! That blows my mind that as a female baby growing  in MY MOTHERS womb I have all my eggs there ready to be fertilised even before I came out in to the world and had even considered being attracted to the opposite sex!
How can I be a mistake? How can I have evolved from an ape? How could this world have appeared through a big bang? How could we all have appeared eventually in time emerging from a sludge pool shaped like a fish or blob? Why do we insist on coming from nothing special and think we have no purpose and that purposelessness has evolved over millions of ongoing years?
What's wrong with having the belief that a loving Creator purposefully made me and wants me to be apart of this world in a way that bring love and light to the world. I'll tell you that the latter sounds more appealing.
When I look at my lovely new niece and how precious she is and the love my brother and partner have for her I love that its brought out a whole new side in him! That loving Father who wants nothing but the best for His little girl. He'll protect her to the ends of the earth, and if you treat her wrong you better watch out! That's like my big Heavenly Father to me. Thank you LORD for your Fathers Heart towards your children! Unconditional, undeserved but unstoppable!

B-B

My new niece's little feet.

Relay for Life - Bowling Tourny!

I am Bowlerina Girl!

Who killed the Bowlerina's???

I had so much fun being a Bowlerina with my new friends C an J. We played a fundraising game of Lawn Bowls for the Cancer Society raising money for Relay for Life. That's on this weekend by the way! (Good cause!). You got to laugh at yourself sometimes and enjoy the journey! We didn't win but we had fun!

Lessons in Life

Well what have I learnt today?? Hmmm actually had some time to myself which seemed like ages from the last time that happened. I went and had coffee with Jesus today at one of my favourite cafe's Mokaba. Love the coffee there! I was thinking and pondering my future again and having a journal chat with God about it. In my mind I'm at another chapter in my life... I liken it to been a canvas in transition from sketch to masterpiece. My depth and tone is painted layer over layer with character and experience. Yet at this time I feel like my canvas is blank again yet my depth is still there waiting for my colours to be added to my life. My colours of life are my foundation. As I'm sure a lot of people have thought this too I've often thought of God as a Master Painter who has this overall vision for our lives and he see's this wonderful masterpiece in His mind and to Him we are wonderful, yet we do not see the finished product/painting. When an artist creates any piece there is a sense of pride, ownership and joy that comes with its completion and when given to a gift for someone the artist takes great pleasure in making another happy.
We are all artists of some sort, I'm not sure I'd call myself an artist but I would call myself a creator. Creating brings me joy. When you combine this with the role as a parent and how protective you are with your children and fiercely love them it enables us to glimpse the heart of God towards us his perhaps sometimes scallywag children yet loved none the less.
Gods Grace is sufficient for me, there's is nothing that can separate me from His love, the plans he has for me have been ordained and written in the pages of God's book for me. My name is tattooed on the palm of His Hand, my steps are ordered by my LORD and I have been adopted in to His family, my Big Daddy loves me so!

B-B

From Blob to Bridesmaid

Since my bestie Miss C and Mr N started going out she had told me I would be a bridesmaid. Hmmm a good opportunity to commit to losing weight. So as they courted for longer and longer I continued to wait for my turning point to come... They had a combined birthday gathering in May 2010.... Was this going to be it? Save me from myself, give me a reason to shed the pounds... Alas no the engagement didn't happen then...

At Charlotte and Nathan's Birthday May 2010

I didn't realise how big I looked until I look back at this photo. But not long after this Mr N finally popped the question to Miss C! Yay my quest had begun and I was determined not to be a fat bridesmaid and embarrass my beautiful friend on her special day. She honestly didn't care and never made me feel like I had to lose any weight, it was all my own insecurities believe me! But finally the penny had dropped and I was on my way. 

I know this road I've walked this path a couple of times before. This time I had put on the most weight ever! Scary stuff. Lord I didn't mean to get to that place, it snuck up on me with all those yummy foods I ate. It was totally my own doing. No excuses!

Anywho I've been on a roll since then. BUT this time I wanted a permanent change in the brain to make this a lifestyle rather then a goal to aim for and then move on from. When you read the scripture about renewing the mind it applies to all areas of thought. Food enjoyment and indulging begins in the brain as all things usually do.

As a counsellor my new train of thought has been towards holistic care. We have the mental, physical, emotional and spiritual to tend too. My lack was often in the physical. I've had to change my habits, my thoughts and actions towards a healthier lifestyle yet not losing my passion for sweets and treats altogether. BALANCE people! 

This time on my journey to weight loss it has been pretty cool actually. I've enjoyed including exercise in to my life this time and have embraced it with more gusto! I'm enjoying walking, kick boxing and the odd jog (and I mean ODD JOG, as in I look odd doing it!).

My soul gets fed when I'm walking through the bush, its God's creation at its loveliest. I get to pray out there when I'm walking too! I feel like I've had a great overhaul! God is so good.

Positive Negatives Photo Late 2010

So anywho the journey continues and I have taken my time losing the weight. I've done it slow-ish. Its been good. My confidence has grown again and I'm feeling great.

Miss C and me at her Tea Party Nov 2010

So exercise is working for my, getting toned in places that I quite like. Still want abs though but the preggy pouch won't leave... (love you Master 9 for your lasting impression you've made on my body). 

Bit of skinny dipping at Miss C's Hen's Night Feb 2011

So the Wedding was this weekend and I've finally made it through my 3rd time as a bridesmaid. Photo's of that will come later. 

Paul, Megan and I doing the Beach2Basin March 2011

(I look like I'm in pain.... I wasn't)

Did my final weight for the journey I have been on. Drum Roll...... 22.4kg's! Yay! So I thank Miss C now Mrs C for giving the push I needed to get my weight sorted again! Please LORD keep me in the right frame of mind and personal stance to keep myself healthy and balanced!

My buddy Tim (fellow bridal party person!) and I at the Wedding just gone March 12th 2010

So here I am at the end of this chapter but embarking on another. I love the new me (who was always there but needed a hand up AGAIN!). Thanks for popping by!

B-B

Beach2Basin

Pretty stoked with myself for doing the Beach2Basin. My first time doing the 9k walk and I didn't even break a sweat. I think next year I'll attempt the 5k run. My buddy Simone ran the 5k and did it in good time. I've enjoyed getting fit this time round! (Having done the whole weight loss thing a couple times before). I would like to one day think I can do a marathon or half marathon. Which of course I can if I put my mind to it. I think I will share my weight loss journey with y'all one day. Its been a really rewarding experience for me. I was still full of energy after the walk. My mate and I went out for brekky afterwards and then I ended up going for a walk up Parihaka AND I did my best time going up. Talk about too much energy, wish it was like that all the time. Maybe I'll see YOU at next years Beach2Basin!


B-B

Becky Bob the Builder has finished.

Well my time being a lacky for my builder friend has finished. 3 weeks have sped by so quick. A recap on what I've learnt are:
- Sanding/Prepping
- Painting
- Varnishing
- Window Cleaning
- Gap Filling
I know it doesn't sound like much but for me its been a good lesson on how to prepare and paint a room. Perhaps God is preparing me for my own house DIY! I'm keen! But boy its been hard work. I've used muscles I didn't even know I had. Its good to learn a new skill but like I said in a previous post I'm not made to be a painter! I now find myself looking a the paint job in my own place and thinking 'oh my they didn't do a good job...'.
So what life lesson can I take from this? Well definitely that we have to all be sanded down, cleaned off and prepared for life's personal construction, deconstruction and reconstruction. Thank God He's my builder/decorator and not the pleb that I was doing the job. (That's why I'm not God folks!). His ways are good. Although I haven't always enjoyed the prep time that God has got me through I do enjoy the final product or the work that is always in progress and process in me. There's a life lesson to be learnt in any thing really. Remember to builder your house on the rock!


B-B